1 The baby pooed. Yes, that does account for the 20 minute delay. It was like an explosion in a houmous factory! I spent 5 minutes sitting in awe of the first human being to have ever managed to poo on their own ear. And the car seat. And my sleeve. And the cat. I changed my clothes faster than a pantomime actor carries out a costume change, and bundled everything into the washing machine and cleaned the baby up in record time. We were barely even going to be late at all... Until it happened again.
2 My toddler had a meltdown. I swear down, half an hour it took me to peel my toddler off the floor. She wanted to wear her pink coat. She doesn't even have a pink coat. Her bottom lip wobbled. I was quick to act and thought I'd saved us from an epic tantrum by conjuring a pink scarf as a compromise. She put on her navy coat and the pink scarf and looked rather smug... and then I looked outside. It's like 40 degrees, she's going to bake wearing a scarf in this weather. I had to tell her to take it off and leave it behind this time. You'd think I'd just told her that I murdered Iggle-blinkin'-Piggle! And then all hell broke loose. She was just screaming, sweating, snotting, all over the place! Her sobbing eyes just glazed over and stared right through me like she was sayin', 'You ain't no mother of mine!' - oh the guilt! And then, after her mammoth hissy fit, she fell asleep in a pile of shoes. Have you ever tried to pick up and fold a sleeping toddler into a car seat with a changing bag over your shoulder?
3 I forgot, okay? That's why we were an hour late. You try living on less than 3 hours of disturbed sleep every night, and then having to remember to feed and clothe yourself, as well as a small child, and tell me you have enough memory left to remember that thing you were going to write in your diary... Until there was the distraction of an explosion in a houmous factory.