Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Dear Babysitter: Precious Firstborn Syndrome

Dear babysitter,

Thank you so much for this. I feel awfully guilty for leaving her!

My little fluffy-wuffy is probably going to cry when I leave. Please don't let her get too distressed. If she cries for more than three minutes, call me. I'll come straight home, right away. 

She likes her milk hot and cold. She's on cow's milk now, the blue one. Do not give her the green one. First, heat some milk til it's hot, and then stir in some cool milk until it's the correct drinking temperature. Please, please test the temperature twice. And make sure that the milk is hot mixed with cold, and not just cold milk warmed through. She will know. Pour the milk into her sippy-cup, which is in the steriliser. Please ensure that it is thoroughly sterile and that you've sanitised your hands and used tongs. Hand sanitiser dispensers are on the wall by every door in the house. Please make regular use of them. Any problems, call me. I'll come straight home. 

Should she need a nappy change, you will find everything that you need located in the highly-organised changing unit in the nursery. Firstly remove the dirty nappy and lay it to one side for inspection, and then follow the nappy change procedure step-by-step. You'll find the procedure on the wall next to the changing unit. Please use nappy cream with every nappy change. Once she is changed and content, please inspect the dirty nappy for colour, consistency and smell, and record your findings on the chart on the wall, by the procedure, ready for me to input the data into the spreadsheet. Remember to record the date and time, too. If your findings alarm you, do not hesitate to call me. I'll come straight home. 

11am is snack time, snacks are prepared in the fridge. 12 is play time. Please refer to the chart on the wall as to which toys to play with. I like to keep a structure and good rotation and variety of toys and games. 1pm is lunch time. Again, lunch is prepared in the fridge. Consult the chart on the fridge door if unsure. 2pm is nap time. She must not sleep for more than 2 hours. It'll break her routine. 

I'll call and check in every 20 minutes, but if anything worries you in the meantime, call me right away. I'll come straight home.

Make yourself at home. Don't be afraid to call me! I'll come straight home.


The mother of one child.

Dear babysitter,

Excuse the mess! Food's in the cupboard. Number's on the fridge. Only contact me if it's an absolute emergency. Good luck. 

I'm outta here!


From the mother of more than one child.

No comments:

Post a Comment